I recently read and then re-read this incredible book by Nathan Filer, thanks to a recommendation from a friend, and it is honestly one of the most compelling stories I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I couldn't put it down, I read the entire thing in one sitting!

The story is told from the point of view of Matthew, an extremely complex character who believes he is responsible for his older brother's death (not a spoiler, it's in the blurb). This sends him into a downward spiral and leads to a lengthy battle with mental illness which is largely what the book is about. However, Filer also very sensitively deals with the topic of grief and how people grieve in different ways, also how things that happen in people's lives lead them to act in certain ways.
Filer has clearly thought very carefully about each character's back story and what has made them the person they are, he has therefore created lovable characters full of life, with whom the reader can empathise wholeheartedly.  I loved all of the characters, especially Nanny Noo as she reminded me a lot of my own Nanna and I loved how Matthew clearly adored her and would only ever talk about her with love, even when he hated the rest of the world. 

The story is very fragmented because it is as though Matthew is writing things down as he remembers them, but is often distracted by things happening in the present, e.g. someone knocking at his door, or a nurse reading over his shoulder. This then leads into him telling us a different part of the story. We are spoon fed information bit by bit and constantly being thrown between the past and the present. Some people may not like this disjointed style of writing, I, however, love it because I think it shows the mess Matthew's mind is in and allows the reader to further understand how his thoughts work.

Matthew is one of the most interesting characters I have ever come across, but I grew to absolutely adore him. There were parts of the story where I sympathised with him so much I just wanted to give him a hug. There is no denying his character is extremely complex, but there is also an innocence to him that Filer has so eloquently put across throughout the narration and this keeps the reader on his side through all the ups and downs of his battle with his mental health.

All in alll, it is just a beautifully written, unique story, with characters that will melt your heart. I would rate this book 5/5 and if I could give it higher, I would. It's an absolute must-read, my favourite so far this year.

Feel free to leave any book recommendations in the comments!

Thank you for reading

lots of love

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